In-between Countries, Life as an Intuitive Drifter

I never know what to call myself. Nomad, wanderer, journeyer, dreamer? I usually say I am “location independent,” which I am – I operate independently of any specific location and am not bound to anywhere, but it still doesn’t quite fit. I guess I am an Intuition-based Drifter, meaning that I go wherever I am called, wherever my intuition tells me to go, and so it’s purposeful. My intent is on having an energetic experience wherever I am (learning, giving, receiving, understanding), and that’s what often drives where I go. But, sometimes, I am not sure where that is supposed to be.

My time in Bali is coming to a close. I’ve spent a total of four months here. I feel ready to move on, and I am flying out in three days. First, I will go to Bangkok, but I don’t know where after that. I feel drawn to Europe, but whenever I look into certain places, it’s like my gut can’t fix on any one spot.

I feel draw to Gdansk, Poland, which feels random but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel wary because with being such a sensitive person, going to a country where so much horror and trauma took place (WWII) seems like I’m asking for a painful experience, feeling into the energy imprint of the place. However, I feel like I’m supposed to do something there. I feel like, with everything Poland has been through, we will understand each other, and that after all she has been through, she still stands, she still breathes, she still “is.”

I wonder what the people will be like, but more, I am wanting to feel what the land is like, how she holds the buildings and flowers and stone streets. I want to see what the wind feels like, and how it feels to walk and look up into the sky from the ground. I wonder if the clouds will look different, if the people will carry stories in their aura, if the food will bring comfort.

Sometimes I think, “wait, why am I going there?” Maybe I should go to Tallin, Estonia, or Toulouse or Lyon in France. Why? I don’t know. I do want to go to those places, but it feels like I’m be told “not yet.” Then I wonder, am I crazy for leaving Asia instead of exploring more? This feels so logical, like I only feel that way because I’m already here and it’s cost-and time-effective to explore more while I’m here instead of traveling all the way to a different continent and then needing to come all the way back if I want to explore further. But… I cannot help it, that deep in my gut, I feel like it’s time to leave Asia.

Living life by following my intuition is a way of living that often ignores reason and logical decision-making. In fact, that’s basically a requirement. Intuition will say, hey that thing in front of you that’s an option, even though it looks absolutely perfect, it’s just wrong, for you. And the hard part about living following your intuition is that before you are strong in it and in yourself, you will tell someone else how this “perfect” thing is wrong for you, and sometimes you will even come up with reasons why it’s wrong, even though those aren’t the reasons why it’s wrong. It’s only wrong for you, because your soul is telling you it’s not the right choice at the moment. And so the other person, if they are not led by intuition will think you are silly, and then you doubt yourself, and it’s just a messy ride.

Once you decide, even if this thing I’m looking at is objectively perfect, if my gut says it’s wrong, then it is wrong, things get much better and decisions get easier. And, at least in my case, many frustrating (and worse) experiences are avoided.

So, now, in-between countries I sit, trying to decide where is next. I am sure the reader is saying, “Well, obviously Gdansk.”