Heavy Heart and a Proclamation Made

My heart feels bruised and heavy. I miss the good parts of the one who was my lover my friend. I recognize the need for solitude and I also see the joy and perspective in experiencing the world with another human. It’s very sad that we parted ways, but also I think necessary. If you doubt if something is necessary, if it happened then it must be so. So much occurred and came out of our time together, and even though I haven’t integrated all of it, I am grateful for it. But also, sad. I’m deeply hurt that it was abruptly and angrily cut off, with no space to uncouple, and that I was treated poorly. Sometimes people just need to disappear because they are unable to see, hold, or withstand the experience and play it out in a different way, to see a different result. They create this for a reason, obviously, their own reason. And clearly I am experiencing this for a reason as well. I get this. It still is sorrowful.

I long for, prefer, profess, and now proclaim:

From this point forward, I will only have experiences with people who are strong and capable of interactions and joy without the dysfunction of rupture and trauma to part ways, finish, or end an experience. It is entirely possible and preferred to share a beautiful, difficult, or any type of experience, and then decide it is time to move on and not have the moving on be a rupture. Universe, I recognize that there obviously was more I needed and chose to learn and experience through this, but now I know with certainty that I have learned all I need to learn from this. I have the perspective and empathy to understand, and I also now have the absolute, highest, most immense self-love and inner connection to know I deserve only love. I choose to experience only wholeness, only love, even through dissolution, because love and wholeness and dissolution are not opposed, they are not contradictory. And I call into my life only those who believe, embody, and express similar or higher manifestation in their and our joint reality, and who handle me with this highest form of love, no matter what. And so it is, from now and always.

– Opal